My Child Has Disclosed Abuse, Now What?

Helping you understand what your child needs from you.
This is a difficult time for you and your child, below is a list of Do’s and Dont’s
that your child probably needs from you.


  • Tell your child this is not his/her fault.
  • Ask what your child needs to feel safe; for example, a night light
  • Let your child know it is okay to be confused
  • Let your child know you aren’t mad
  • Realize its okay to let your child know you are sad or to see you cry.
  • Keep your child informed about what might happen
  • Let your child know the abuser was at fault
  • Reassure your child that you want to protect him or her.
  • Ask your child about his or her feelings.


  • Restrict your child’s activities more than necessary, or make to many changes right after the disclosure.
  • Tell your child not to talk about it.
  • Minimize your child’s feelings.
  • Ask Probing questions about the abuse; let the child talk freely.
  • Make promises you cannot keep.
  • Urge the child to forget.
  • Question your child’s story.
  • Evade your child’s story.
  • Let your child blame him or herself.